with John Shealy, PhD & Jordan Dye, MSW, CSW
Origin of this program: Intrigued by the many benefits of mindfulness, beginning meditators often ask, "How do I bring mindfulness into my intimate relationship?" Many folks have experienced how mindfulness helps them manage their emotions, settle their reactivity and enhance their overall lifestyle. But many have yet to experience how mindfulness can deepen and transform their most important relationship. This question may be coming up for you and if you are currently in a committed relationship, maybe for your partner too. This program is designed to provide an understanding of the complex inner workings of interpersonal relationships, our "social engagement system." Over the course of the program you'll also develop the skill of mindfulness putting you in an excellent position to shift your intimate relationship in some very positive directions.
Perhaps you're single and seeking effective tools to help establish and maintain a rewarding, intimate relationship. Mindfulness can bring ineffective interpersonal patterns into awareness where they can be changed. With mindfulness, we can avoid going down the same painful and frustrating path that we may have traveled several times already but have been unable to recognize before we were already in over our heads. With understanding, healing and mindful intention allows us to choose your next partner from our healthy self.
Partnered or single, engaged in this dance of relationship or about to leap out into the dating world again, Jordan and I invite you to join us for this transformative program. It would be wonderful if your partner joins you but much good can come to your relationship even if you come alone. You can always share the materials with your partner and you can meditate at home together. Also know that the magic of mindfulness is that you can't help but share it with everyone in our circle, your cultivated inner peace and equanimity will shine out to them.
Note: Click on the names highlighted here to watch a short video by each of these researchers. In facilitating this program, Jordan and I will draw from a number of relationship researchers and therapists including: Sue Johnson ... John Gottman ... David Schnarch. We will also incorporate a number of related research areas including Attachment Theory (Dan Siegel), Trauma Theory (Bessel Van der Kolk) and Somatic Psychology (Peter Levine) and Polyvagal theory (Stephen Porges).
The pioneering work of Keith Witt brings Integral Theory developed by Ken Wilber, into relationships. Bringing the Integral perspective to the complexities of our interpersonal lives will allow us to better recognize when and how we become stuck in unhelpful patterns and help us find effective ways of growing into our engaged, peaceful, loving selves - our true nature.
You will be provided some reading and video materials about these theories and will be encouraged to study only as much as you like. The daily "homeplay" mindfulness practices combined with the in-class experiential exercises and group and dyad processes provide the critical keys for understanding the "relationship dance." By investing only a few hours a week, you'll get a general idea of research findings (what works and what doesn't) and how this understanding can be applied to establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. All the while, you will be cultivating the core skills of mindfulness: a settled and concentrated mind, ability to attend to the present moment without reactivity while taking a broader, more open and curious perspective on the many challenges of relationships and of life in general.
This rewarding experiential program builds on the core elements of our traditional Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction programs. Previous meditation experience isn't necessary. If you have an established meditation practice, all the better. You'll be starting a few laps ahead but we'll all end up at a similar place. We will begin with the basic meditation instructions found in all MBSR programs - sitting, walking, eating, QiGong, Hatha Yoga, etc. and add other modalities such as insight dialogue and partner yoga, practices which are unique to our relationship program.
This program is often offered on Saturday or Sunday with meetings every other week. In the weeks between our meetings and Jordan and I are in town, we will offer a 1-hour group Zoom (similar to Skype) call to provide an opportunity to "check-in" with feedback and Q/A to address any issues you may be having and to gather support from the other group members just as we do in our live sessions. Gotta love this technology sometimes...
In summary, this program is designed for anyone interested in bringing the power of mindfulness into their intimate relationships, those already engaged in an intimate relationship and anyone sailing in the often rough seas of the dating world. It is open to individuals as well as couples, all genders and sexual orientation - anyone seeking a more balanced and enriching life. If you have questions, please drop us a note.
• Materials: As with our traditional MBSR programs, there will be weekly readings, YouTube videos, a collection of 8 or 10 guided meditations, QiGong and yoga recordings and practice suggestions to tie the program together. We'll learn about these supports, practice them at home and refine them in the next session.
• About the Facilitators: John Shealy, PhD, and Jordan Dye, MSW, CSW, are a married couple who together have over 45 years of experience practicing and teaching mindfulness meditation. Both currently practice Integral Mondo Zen. John is a licensed psychologist, Jordan, a certified social worker. Both are trained yoga instructors and live a healthy, balanced lifestyle. The safe, respectful, peaceful space they hold for each other and for the group provides a container for establishing a daily meditation practice while promoting personal and relationship transformation.
• Class size: Due to the experiential and intimate nature of this program, class size will be limited to 12 participants (singles and couples).
• Location: Earth & Spirit Center - on Newburg Road, across from Bellarmine University, up the hill from Our Lady of Peace.
• Meeting dates and times: Saturdays, January 13 & 27 and February 10 & 17, 2018 - 9:30am to 1:30pm (mindful brown-bag lunch). Optional one-hour Zoom conferences will be offered during the weeks in-between our class meetings to help keep everyone engaged with the exercises and course material and help get folks back on track if their relationship has fallen into conflict.
• Fee: on a sliding scale from $500 to $300 per participant based on your financial situation - some partial scholarships may be available.
• Registration is through the Earth & Spirit Center website
If you have any questions, email John or call him at 502 727 2996.